This Was The Orchestra Your Mother Warned You About
by dickgraysons
Summary: The only orchestra which might leave you running for the hills. Or leave you needing a lawyer.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **This Was The Orchestra Your Mother Warned You About  
**Chapter:** 1 - In which a certain tiger and ganguro can't agree on anything (approx. 881 words)  
**Rating: **K+  
**Characters/Pairings:** Generation of Miracles, Kagami Taiga  
**Summary:** The only orchestra which might leave you running for the hills. Or leave you needing a lawyer.  
**Disclaimer:** Figured it's time I added one D: if I owned kurobasu i would have made them all gay already.  
**Author's Notes:** I was inspired by another fic I read somewhere else, to write this fic about the GOM (and other characters) being in an orchestra. I swear I didn't and am not going to copy the person's plot. This will be a collection of short stories of the KnB characters being in an orchestra; more detailed author's notes at the bottom.

* * *

The day Aomine Daiki is supposed to report to some university's auditorium with his double bass for the first practice of the year with the rest of the orchestra, he's late. Very late. He curses under his breath, as he impatiently wills the elevator to go faster. When he finally arrives on the correct floor he pushes the door to the auditorium open a tad too roughly, making a rather loud noise and startling the hell out of himself.

After he manages to get his instrument through the insistently stubborn door that refuses to remain open, he lets out another string of curses. _Great, first day of practice and I'm late, and- _

As he turns around he lifts his head, and all he sees is a sea of heads turned towards the back to stare at him. He blinks a few times, staring back in stunned silence, before an eerily cool and calm voice breaks through the silence. "How nice of you to grace us with your presence, Daiki," Akashi Seijuuro checks his watch. "Thirty minutes after practice has started."

Aomine swallowed and stuttered out an apology. "U-uh, I was caught up in traffic... Sorry." There were few whom Aomine Daiki was afraid of, and their 173cm tall concertmaster was at the top of that very short lift. Aomine looked ready to go down on his knees and be Akashi for forgiveness, not caring that he would be embarrassed for life, and Akashi sighed as he put his violin back under his chin, before saying, "It's fine, Daiki, now hurry up and get ready to play."

Aomine did a quick tuning of his instrument, and quickly went to where he was supposed to stand. Aomine settles down on his stool, before he realises that there's a new guy next to him. He glances at him sideways, and the guy, with two shades of colour in his red hair, turns to him and says, "Yo. Name's Kagami Taiga."

Aomine nods, and raises his German bow, noticing the guy had a French one. _A French bow. Didn't the orchestra want them to standardise their bows? Who was this guy to use a French one as and when he likes when the rest of the section is using the German bow? _

Aomine growls, and when Aida Riko, their resident conductor, stopped for a minute to correct the mistake in rhythm that Murasakibara had made on the bass drum, he turned to Kagami (whatever his name was) and whispered, "You need to change your bow."

Kagami only looked at him, and frowned, "Why? I'm perfectly fine with my French one."

"We have to standardise our bows. Didn't Akashi tell you that when you first joined?"

"Well, I don't really care, I play better with the French one. I'll ask Akashi later if I can use this."

Aomine growls again, and raises his voice a little. "The rest of the section's using the German one, you twit, you have to change it! You can't expect the rest of us to change because of you, you _baka_!"

Kagami grits his teeth, and retaliates. "Shut up, you _aho_! I'll do what I want! You can't stop me!"

Aomine huffs, and he turns away as Riko says aloud, "Let's start from the top, people. Then we'll go off for a short break."

Break only saw Aomine and Kagami wrestling on the ground as they argued which bow they had to use. After Murasakibara and Kise were forced to drag Aomine and Kagami apart, Akashi berated them, and told Kagami that he had to get used to using a German bow because the rest of the double bassists were using it.

Aomine gave Kagami a smug smirk as Kagami glared at him. "_Aho_mine," he muttered under his breath, as he walked away to grab some food from the Maji burger outlet downstairs.

§

Just at the moment when everyone thought that Aomine and Kagami would finally stop arguing after multiple arguments that day, raised voices interrupt practice again, and Akashi sighs, bringing his fingers to his right temple.

"This is not how you play this part, you _baka_! You have to pause for a little while before you start again; did you even have proper lessons? How did you even get into this orchestra?" Aomine's voice rings out.

"Shut up, aho! I am playing correctly, you're the one who's wrong!" Kagami retorts.

Akashi found himself wishing that other double bassists were here, so Kagami and Aomine would stop arguing for once. His eyes snap open, and he looks at Riko, who nods back at him.

Akashi's voice rings out louder and clearer than both of theirs. "The both of you better shut up, make up, and not argue for the rest of rehearsal, or I will personally make sure that you play Bartok pizzicato on your instruments until your fingers bleed and fall off."

The rest of the string members, who actually understood what Bartok pizzicato was, start snickering, and Aomine glares at them all, before he and Kagami look at each other in fright, seemingly coming to a silent truce, and nods timidly at Akashi. After all, Akashi _was_ pretty capable of doing what he said.

Aomine mutters under his breath, "Well, at least he didn't threaten us with practising Pachelbel's Canon in D for an entire day." He shrugged.

Kagami snicked, and mutters back, "True that."

* * *

**A/N: **hi I wanted this to be a comedic piece of literature but I suck so here have some shitty writing.  
at least aomine and kagami agreed on something in the end amirite


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** This Was The Orchestra Your Mother Warned You About  
**Chapter: **2 - In which the kids drive Akashi crazy (again) (approx. 680 words)  
**Rating:** K+  
**Characters/Pairings:** Generation of Miracles, Kasamatsu Yukio + Sakurai Ryou + Wakamatsu Kosuke (brief cameos)  
**Summary:** The only orchestra which might leave you running for the hills. Or leave you needing a lawyer.  
**Disclaimer:** I still don't own kurobasu sucks for me D:  
**Author's Notes:** yay new characters woo~ enjoy!

* * *

When Akashi finally thinks that practice would be peaceful _for once_, he's just proved wrong again. The moment he enters the auditorium he sees two rows of chairs lined up on opposite sides of the stage.

Midorima walks over to join him, and one of Akashi's worst fears are confirmed. "Are they...?"

"Yes, they are." Akashi groans, and wishes he had stayed home today. He would rather not be here when some of the members of this orchestra were involved in-

His thoughts were cut off by a loud war cry, and before he could react, Aomine (and his gang) had popped out from behind their row of chairs, raising their 'weapons' (aka their bows and whatever they could find and pick up off the ground) and aiming them at the opposite row, where Kise (and_ his_ gang) were situated.

Kise and Aomine stare at each other for a few moments, and for a moment Akashi thinks that maybe, _just maybe_, he could stop this before things get really rowdy and rough and messy, but before he can even do anything once again, a piece of soft gooey double bass rosin flew across the stage, hitting Kise right in the middle of his forehead.

Kise, stunned for a moment there, blinks a few times, and he roars, before an onslaught of small things start to fly across the stage towards both rows of chairs. Akashi watches as people are hit by things hide behind their chairs as they 'die' and things come to a quick finale as it's down to the usual few veterans at the game.

"Kise Ryouta, with Kasamatsu Yukio, versus Aomine Daiki, with Sakurai Ryou! Who will win the 25th monthly game of 'War'? It's time, for the graaaaaand finale!" Wakamatsu Kosuke announced.

Aomine was about to start throwing things at Kise again, when Akashi finally gets enough of things, and shouts, "Daiki, Ryouta, what do you think you're doing again?"

Aomine and Kise, too engrossed in the game, didn't seem to notice that Akashi was here and continued to glare at each other with all the fierceness and ferocity they could muster, which in Kise's case, was not so successful. Akashi sighs, and marches over to the middle of the stage, right at the time when Kise throws Aomine's rosin back at him.

Of which lands right square in the middle of the back of Akashi's head.

Needless to say, Kise regrets that he was ever born afterwards. He clings to Aomine's leg with tears running down his face as Akashi stands in front of him, glaring daggers at him.

"Uwahh, please forgive me, Akashi_cchi_! I didn't mean to! It was meant for Ahomine_cchi_! Please don't stab me!"

Akashi manages to calm himself down before his right hand reaches into his pocket by instinct, where his favourite (and sharpest) pair of scissors are located. He would have gladly stabbed Kise in the heart, but he needed the damn thing to keep Kise alive and kicking; after all he _is_ one of the best second violinists that he has in the orchestra. He breathes in and out deeply, thank god he learned _qigong_ from the very best. Murasakibara attempts to cool his anger down by passing him an ice lolly, and he gratefully accepts it, before walking to a seat and taking huge bites out of it.

He relishes the terrified look that Kise, who's still crying, has on his face, and watches, mildly satisfied, as Aomine desperately tries to get Kise off his leg. He tries not to smirk as Aomine starts cursing as he continues trying to no avail ("Die, Kise! Let go of me, you _baka_! You're so heavy; let go of me!" "Aomine_cchi_ you ganguro! Save me! Who's going to be your friend if I die?" "Ehh, Satsuki and Tetsu are enough; I don't need you." "Uwahh, Aomine_cchi_'s so mean!"). After all, Aomine deserved to be punished too.

They drive this concertmaster so crazy sometimes, Akashi wonders why he even bothers with this bunch of unruly... children.

Heh, it must be love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **This Was The Orchestra Your Mother Warned You about  
**Chapter:** 3 - In which MIdorima the carrot monster is humiliated for life (approx. 1346 words)  
**Rating: **K+  
**Characters/Pairings:** Generation of Miracles, Takao Kazunari  
**Summary:** The only orchestra which might leave you running for the hills. Or leave you needing a lawyer.  
**Disclaimer: **I would really have made them all gay if I owned kurobasu  
**Author's Notes:** this time I tried to make the tenses more consistent yay here have Midorima as a carrot man~

* * *

When Midorima decides to wear an orange shirt to practice one day it becomes the most embarrassing day of his life ever. The worst thing is, it's his birthday.

§

That morning as he woke up he checked his phone, and already there had been a few messages from the people in the orchestra.

- From: Takao Kazunari -  
_Happy birthday, Shin-chan!_

- From: Kise Ryouta -  
_Happy Birthday, Midorimacchi! You're old now; join the club! ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ We have a surprise for you later!_

- From: Aomine Daiki -  
_Happy barfday. You might actually puke later; no guarantees._

- From: Akashi Seijuuro -  
_Happy birthday, Shintarou. Enjoy your day._

- From: Kuroko Tetsuya -  
_Happy birthday Midorima-kun. There's a surprise waiting for you when you come for practice._

§

The moment he enters the auditorium, all he hears are snickers all around him. And they all seem to be directed at him.

He isn't paranoid, he swears.

_I'll bet they're laughing at my lucky item again._ He glances subtly down at the giant penguin that he's holding on his right arm and sighs. He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, and ignores all the giggles around him.

At least Akashi had the courtesy to greet him with a stoic face as Midorima sits down on his usual seat beside him. "Good afternoon, Shintarou."

"Good afternoon Akashi. May I know what's so funny?"

Akashi smiles slightly. "You'll know soon enough, Shintarou."

Midorima raises his eyebrows slightly. Huh. He quickly unpacks his violin from its case, and deposits his penguin on the floor next to him. And after he finishes adjusting the bandages on the fingers of his left hand Riko walks to the conductor's podium and waves her baton around as she attempts glaring at them all.

"All right, we'll start now. Take out your scores for Canon in D. Since we didn't get much practice last week all thanks to Aomine and Kise," she eyes them with a glare as sharp as Akashi's sharpest pair of scissors, "We'll practise as long as it takes to perfect it."

Aomine groans loudly (because 54 times of the same 8 quarter notes), and Kise snickers at him. Unfortunately for him, Aomine hears it. He growls, and throws his rosin (once again) at Kise's head. Which, by the way, hits Kise right in the forehead (again). Perks of playing the only string instrument which has unbreakable rosin.

Kise falls over, and he wails as he clings onto Kuroko, who's sitting right beside the first stand of the second violins, where Kise it. "Kuroko_cchi_! Aominecchi's being mean again!"

He puts down his flute from his lips, and he sighs, "Aomine-kun, please stop bullying Kise-kun. We need to start with practice already."

Aomine doesn't say anything, except for a soft 'tch'. Riko, after being sure that Aomine and Kise won't be making any more trouble, gets on with practice. As they practise Canon, Akashi is thankful that no more trouble ensues.

Then practice ends, and Aomine, cracking his knuckles, groans loudly. "Finally, that stupid song was making all my fingers cramp up so badly."

Kise walks up to him, and laughs. "Hah, Aomine_cchi_, Pachelbel only recognised the double bass for the lame instrument it is." Aomine growls, and he pounces on Kise, attempting to punch him. Kise shrieks ("Not the face! Not the face! Anywhere but the face!"), as he tries to dodge Aomine's tanned fists.

Murasakibara and Midorima immediately march over to the both of them, and drag them apart, and Kuroko walks over to where they are. "Kise-kun, Aomine-kun, stop fighting. We need to give Midorima-kun his birthday surprise."

Aomine smirks a little at that, and Kise's whole face lights up. Kise gets the attention of the rest of the orchestra, and they hustle themselves into the lounge outside the auditorium. Takao Kazunari is tasked with keeping Midorima busy while the rest get ready with the preparations for his surprise.

Midorima rolls his eyes, and pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Takao starts chattering away like a magpie, and Midorima listens, as it always is when Midorima and Takao are hanging out together. Midorima sometimes gives his own inputs on things that Takao talks about, but that's just the way it is, even back when they were in high school.

Finally Takao's phone vibrates (Midorima doesn't get why they don't just tell him to come in; it's only outside the auditorium after all), and Takao jumps up, pulling Midorima along with him by the hand. "Shin-chan! They're ready! You're going to love this so much!" He chuckled, and Midorima walks into the lounge, where everyone jumps up and shouts, "SURPRISE!" as the lights come on.

Midorima sighs at the naivety of his fellow orchestra members. How did this even count as a surprise when some of them had already told him that morning? Midorima shakes his head, but smiles slightly. This is probably why he has that mild affection for them, not that he would ever admit it to them, though.

He's about to thank them awkwardly when he catches sight of something (or some things) behind the people crowded around the birthday cake they had prepared. Damn his height; allowing him to look over their heads.

All he sees are A4 sized photos lining the walls of the lounge. And what's printed on it was the most garish picture of a 12-year-old Midorima during Halloween that year. Before he could justify himself that he had been forced to wear that stupid carrot suit by his parents so he could match his younger sister (who had dressed up as a potato that year), Kise and Aomine were already on the floor squirming with laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAH! I can't believe Midorima_cchi_ looked so cute when he was younger!" Kise manages to choke out between his laughs.

"Kise, maybe you should get him a job at your modelling agency! To advertise for vegetables! He's perfect for it!" Aomine replies, which actually makes the rest of the orchestra laugh, which is rather rare for Aomine.

Midorima's eyes flash, and he throws his lucky item aside (which surprises everyone) and he pounces on both Kise and Aomine, wrestling with them as he attempts - keyword: attempts - to punch at least one of them.

Before he can jam his fist into Aomine's stomach, who's still laughing, much to Midorima's chagrin, an iPhone is shoved into his face, and Akashi speaks. "Shintarou, you're even more famous than before."

Midorima takes a closer look at the phone, and it dawns on him that they had uploaded it. On to the internet. He is now officially humiliated for life. He lies flat on his stomach, refusing to move as he broods and mourns for his long-dead ability to walk outside on the streets without having to disguise himself.

Kise and Aomine were still laughing. "1378 likes! HAHAHAHA! Midorima_cchi_, congratulations, you're now more famous than me!" He resists the urge to slap Kise in his pretty boy face, and straightens out his wrinkled shirt, which Kuroko realises is orange, and takes advantage of the situation to quickly snap a picture of Midorima in his orange shirt.

Just as well, for Midorima sure wasn't going to wear another orange item of clothing anymore. He munches on the cake prepared for him by Sakurai and Kagami (carrot cake, nonetheless), and watches as Kise and Aomine are still rolling on the floor laughing. Even Takao's laughing at him; he tries not to strangle Takao and his very active larynx into oblivion.

The next day he goes on to his social networking account, and sees that he's tagged in a photo of himself from the celebration yesterday. It would have been all right, if not for the fact that those bakas had edited the picture and put a bunch of green leaves atop his head to suit his shirt and green hair, with the caption "Beware of Midorima the carrot monster!"

What was he saying about his mild affection for him? Yeah, he's taking that back.

* * *

**A/N: **in case you guys don't know or didn't manage to infer

Akashi: concertmaster + first violinist; Midorima: first violinist; Murasakibara: bass drummer; Aomine and Kagami: double bassists; Kise: second violinist; Kuroko: flutist; Takao: oboist

also i figured Murasakibara wouldn't send Midorima a text because he's such a ((cute)) lazy ass so yeah also tsundere Midorima ((omg just admit you love them already))


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **This Was The Orchestra Your Mother Warned You About  
**Chapter:** 4 - In which Hyuuga regrets ever listening to Izuki and Aomine in the first place (approx. 1143 words)  
**Rating:** K+  
**Characters/Pairings: **Generation of Miracles, Hyuuga Junpei, Izuki Shun, Imayoshi Shoichi | Aomine/Kise (mentioned), Izuki/Moriyama (mentioned), Hyuuga/Riko  
**Summary: **The only orchestra which might leave you runnign for the hills. Or leave you needing a lawyer.  
**Disclaimer:** whoops never owned kurobasu, never will.  
**Author's Notes:** I would like to clear up the fact that I have no idea how composers compose works whoops. Enjoy woohoo, more detailed author's notes at the bottom.

* * *

As they move into Mozart's Divertimento in D that practice, Aomine groans loudly. Again. For the 11th time that day. "Why are the pieces chosen for this year's concert all so boring for the double basses?"

Murasakibara looks up lazily from his scores, and takes out his chocolate bar from his mouth to hold it in his hand, before saying, "Shut up, Mine-chin, you wanna take a look at mine?"

Kise chuckles, and he says, "Ah, but Murasakibara_cchi_, Aomine_cchi_, you have to remember, Mozart was only 16 years old when he composed this piece."

"He must have been a lazy ass 16-year-old then," Aomine answers.

"Yes! My theory is that he wrote the parts for the first violins, then he got tired and told himself, 'Ahh, I will take a break now, and write the double bass parts!' So on and so forth!"

Aomine chuckles, and tells Kise, "Great theory, Kise."

Kise grins widely, "Of course, Aomine_cchi_! Now go back to playing your continuous 'A's and 'D's." He smiles patronisingly at Aomine.

Aomine's eyes widen and he growls, looking like he's about to slap Kise in the face. Then he narrows his eyes at Kise, before turning back to his scores.

Hyuuga Junpei turns to look at Imayoshi, who's his fellow second violinist. He cups his hand to his mouth, and whispers, "Is it just me, or is Aomine being especially nice to Kise today?"

Imayoshi gives his usual shit-eating grin, and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Didn't you know? Our dear Aomine-kun and Kise-kun are dating!"

Hyuuga almost drops his violin in surprise, and exclaims, "When did this happen?!"

"Since about a week ago? The news spread when someone caught them kissing backstage late after mostly everyone left. Turns out all that arguing from before was just like foreplay for their relationship."

"Wow, what does Kise Ryouta, pretty boy model, see in such a ganguro?"

Imayoshi shrugs his shoulders. "Dunno. I guess Aomine just... did something about it."

Hyuuga has no idea how he ends up sitting at a table in the lounge outside the auditorium between Aomine and Izuki Shun. The three are making small talk when Hyuuga suddenly brings up the topic of Aomine dating Kise. "Say, Aomine, how did you get Kise to start dating you?"

Aomine stops mid-drink, and quickly swallows. He's about to answer, when Izuki cuts in with a shit-eating grin just like Imayoshi's. "Eh, Hyuuga, why are you asking this? Any... special person whose attention you want to catch?" He wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Aomine cackles, and he turns to Izuki with a stupid smirk on his face. "Speak for yourself, Izuki. Moriyama noticed you yet?"

Izuki chokes on his drink, and splutters indignantly, "S-shut up! We're just friends!" Aomine and Hyuuga look at each other before bursting into laughter at Izuki's reaction; everyone knows they aren't really friends despite what they try to tell everyone.

Aomine says, "Ah, um, I just sort of kissed him...?"

"Eh, how did _that_ even work out?"

"Uh, Kise was being all talkative so I kissed him to shut him up and he ran away with a frightened expression on his face, screaming, "Aomine_cchi_ kissed me!"," Aomine flails his arms around and attempts to imitate Kise, "and then the next day we were just... a couple."

"Wow, real romantic, Aomine." Izuki deadpans.

Aomine's face distorts into one of shock, and then he exclaims, "Shut up! Like you did better with Moriyama!"

Izuki grins, and says, "Of course I did, otherwise Moriyama wouldn't have gone off the track for me. Here Hyuuga," he pulls out a small notebook from his pocket, "With my list of pick-up lines, Riko will definitely go out with you!"

Hyuuga chokes on his soda, and splutters, "Who said anything about a crush on Riko?!"

Izuki waves his hand around, "Oh pish posh, _everyone_ knows about your more-than-little crush on our resident conductor. What do you see in her anyway? Never knew your taste was tigresses who couldn't cook."

Hyuuga starts blushing furiously at Izuki's words, and Aomine and Izuki clink their glasses together (triumphantly). Aomine grins, and drawls, "Just make a move already. It's easier than you think it is."

"That's because it's Kise for you! Riko is different!" Hyuuga exclaims.

"It's still hard to ask someone to go out with you, bastard!"

Izuki waves his hand in between their faces, and then says, "Just read the book, Izuki Shun guarantees that you will get her, one hundred percent." Hyuuga looks at him skeptically, before looking at the book's title. _"Musical Pick-Up Lines; Even your dream girlfriend will become reality!" Huh. Even the title of the book is skeptical. _

Hyuuga flips the books open, and reads out loud the line on the first page. "You make my heart go staccato."

He flips to the next page, and reads out loud again, "I hope it's no treble, but I'd like to B with you."

Hyuuga throws the book back at Izuki's face, and is about to speak again when said girl whom Hyuuga wanted to confess to walked past their table. Izuki and Aomine look at Hyuuga expectantly, and when they say that Hyuuga wasn't doing anything anytime soon, Izuki grabs Riko by the arm, and smiles. "Riko, our dear Hyuuga Junpei here has something to say to you."

Hyuuga doesn't know whether he should glare at Izuki and Aomine, who are snickering softly behind, or attend to Riko. He decides that attending to Riko would be a better choice. He can deal with those two idiots later. He's stunned when he tries to think of what to say. He's shocked when Riko is actually waiting expectantly for him to say something, but nothing shocks him more than the words that come out of his mouth, which make him feel like slapping himself in the face a thousand times afterwards.

"Baby, I'm a violinist. I'm a pro in about about 15 different positions."

§

Needless to say, Hyuuga is slapped into oblivion, and ends up flying across the room. Izuki and Aomine are bowled over with laughter, their drinks abandoned on the table they were sitting at. Their hands clenched over their stomachs, they don't even notice when Hyuuga walks over to them with an evil glint in his eyes.

When Hyuuga stomps off a minute later, Aomine and Izuki are still rolling on the floor laughing, not caring that their clothes are entirely drenched in soda. It takes them a few moments to realise that they desperately need a change of clothing, and when no one bothers to attend to them, not even when they start to beg their boyfriends for help ("Ahomine_cchi_, you deserved it." "Ah, I would help, dear Izuki, but Hyuuga-kun is scary!").

Hyuuga relishes in the misery Izuki and Aomine are suffering when practice starts again after that... eventful break.

* * *

**A/N: **Ahh woes of being a double bass player~~ complaining all day about boring scores ((most of the time))  
hope you guys liked the stupid musical pick up lines i found on tumblr and some - very mild - aokise bc i ship them a lot i find them so kawaii~~~  
i like the idea of izuki/moriyama too (doujinshis got me into that ship)  
and hyuuga/riko was existent ever since I started reading/watching the animanga yep yep  
hope you enjoyed this chapter!


End file.
